Tell Me Why
by A-not-so-social-butterfly
Summary: Alec closed his eyes, delirious, and briefly wondered, both what it would be like to die, and what flowers he would have at his funeral. Painless, fingers crossed and lilies hopefully, because they were Magnus' favorite. Alec's heart wanted to run away and hide until Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, came to his senses and realized that he was being a fricking idiot. MALEC
1. Chapter 1

_**This a Malec story set AFTER the books, but the time frame doesn't really matter, so hopefully it still makes sense? I'd like to continue this- it's a multi-chapter story and not a one-shot. I hope you like it and follow and favorite if you enjoy it, and review to give me feedback and let me know what you thought. Thanks, Fly x**_

"There's one thing I need to know, though," Alec tried to make his voice cold, but it broke and shook with emotion. "Tell me why."  
"Why?" Magnus offered him a small, sad smile. "Why? Because, Alexander, it's not safe. If someone is hunting Downworlders then you're in danger just by being near me. If you got hurt because you were with me, I wouldn't be able to…" He shook his head, trying to swat away the thought like Chairman Meow would flick his ear at a persistent fly. Alec looked angry, but Magnus knew it was only because he was forcing his emotions down, locking them in a reinforced prison cell and trying to be cold, hard and rational, the way his life as a Shadowhunter had trained him to be.  
"Do you not think that I can defend myself? Magnus, I'm a _Shadowhunter_ , my life is literally just _fighting demons_! Not exactly a risk free job, is it? I could die every day, it doesn't matter whether I'm with you or not, so why the _hell_ are you saying-"  
"Alec, you don't understand-"  
"No! No, don't you _dare_ tell me that I don't understand! I _do_ understand, Magnus! But you're being completely unreasonable-"  
"No, I am not." The coldness in Magnus' tone took Alec's breath away, made his throat constrict and his heart crawl up into his throat as if to run away from the situation, the way Alec sincerely wanted to in that moment. He wanted to run away and hide until Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, came to his senses and realized that he was being a fricking idiot.  
"I am not being unreasonable. Last week, a warlock two blocks away from here was found murdered, along with his human lover. I cannot allow you to-"  
"Allow me? _Allow me_? You don't _allow_ me to do anything, Magnus! And what, a mundane was killed? They most likely had _not_ exactly been training for combat since they learnt to walk-"  
"Alexander, it's not safe."  
"So what, you don't trust me to look after myself?" Alec yelled. His voice sounded all too loud in the Magnus' quiet apartment, and Chairman Meow startled at the sound and leapt off the old sofa onto the cluttered coffee table, knocking over a red potion that smoked and sparked when it spilt across the carpet.  
"No, I don't trust _me_ to look after _you_ -"  
"I don't need you to look after me, Bane!"  
Alec's use of Magnus' self-given surname was a rare occurrence, saved for when he was especially mad, and something glinted angry in Magnus' golden, cat eyes, something dangerous.  
"Then by all means, leave." The warlock gestured showily to the door.  
Hand knotted in his hair in frustration, Alec spat, "Fine! Fine! _I will_!"

The Shadowhunter stormed out of the apartment, down the stairs and out into the Brooklyn sunshine. He was so wrapped up in his own impassioned thoughts that he didn't notice the taxi he walked out in front of as he crossed the road, and jumped as the driver honked and shouted out the window. "Get out the way! Jesus, look where you're walking, will ya? God!"  
 _'I have right of way!'_ would have been would Magnus would have replied flamboyantly, probably winking, and that thought made Alec's insides twist painfully. He huffed and went into the nearest coffee shop he could see, ordered a black coffee and gulped it down, burning his tongue and most likely doing some internal damage. He ignored the fact that his insides felt like they were on fire and waited for the rush of caffeine he was relying on to wake him up and hopefully at the same time make the whole argument with Magnus be a dream so he could go back up to his boyfriend and snog his face off without Magnus thinking it was because he felt bad and was apologizing.  
Alec had never been good with apologizing and combined with his extreme stubbornness it was seldom that he ever uttered the word 'sorry', even with his close friends and family. He preferred to solve situations that would usually expect an apology from him with gestures: going out shopping with Isabelle even though he hated it because he'd taken her new perfume and given it to someone as a birthday present; training with Jace in the middle of the night after he'd questioned Clary's honesty when she'd first arrived, as _she was Valentine's daughter after all_ , despite the fact that it would take at least three coffees to get him properly functioning the next day, and cooking breakfast for Magnus because he'd lied about a mission to not worry him.  
Unfortunately, Alec doubted that this was a situation he could fix with a plate of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup.

Arguing with Magnus always made Alec's throat burn like he'd just nailed a bottle of vodka (something that he'd also first experienced with Magnus), and he hated how guilty he felt as he finished off his bitter, too hot coffee and chucked the cup in the trash.  
 _But I'm right_ was the main thing ringing around Alec's head, along with _please don't be mad because I need you_ as he climbed the stairs back up to Magnus' studio apartment, hoping that his time taken to cool off had also brought the warlock around to his point of view. The front door was ajar as always, a fact that was much to Alec's chagrin but wasn't the main issue at hand, and Alec reached out to push the door open, to step inside and hopefully kiss his boyfriend after Magnus agreed that Alec was completely right and said that they should never argue again.

Alec's hand stopped in mid-air like it'd hit a solid wall, and he blinked in surprise, then tried to reach the door again. The same thing happened, and Alec went to kick the door, only to almost break his toe on the wards Alec had watched Magnus erect around his apartment. In shock, Alec barely noticed as there was a little puff of blue sparks above his head, and only realized Magnus had left him a note when it fell on his head. On it was a sentence in Magnus' familiar, curly writing.  
 _I'm sorry Alexander, but I need to keep you safe. M._

" _Shit!"_ Alec cried, kicking the wards again angrily, and shouted without thinking. "Open the door, you idiot!"  
There was no reply, and Alec crumpled up the note, shoved it in his pocket and ran down the stairs. As he strode quickly back to the Institute he tried Magnus' phone.  
"Pick up…pick up, come on…"  
The familiar voicemail message sounded, forming a lump in Alec's throat, and he waited impatiently for the _bleep_ , then his words came pouring out.  
"Magnus? It's Alec. I know you're probably mad, it's just, please, please, call me…I mean, if you want to, but please, please…I know you might not want to see me, but I really need to talk to you. So just…call me back when you get this, okay? Call me back. I- Yeah."  
He hung up the phone, taking deep breaths to try to quell the emotions rising in him. As he jogged into the Institute, Church followed him through the corridor, meowing loudly, and Alec ignored the cat's blatant pleas for some form of attention and instead headed for Isabelle's room.  
"Izzy! Izzy, are you in there? Izzy-" He banged on the door, and she opened it.  
"Alec? I thought you were with Magnus-"  
"Can you call him? Magnus, I mean. Can you call him?"  
"Call him? Can't you just-"  
"Izzy, can you just _call him_ , _please._ "  
Isabelle scanned his face, frowning, then took out her phone, swiped through her contacts and held it up to her ear. She listened for a minute, then moved it away from her ear. "Voicemail. Do you want me to leave a message, or-"  
"No, leave it. Thanks Izzy."  
"Alec, are you okay-"  
"I'm fine."  
"Alec…"  
"What?" He span back around from where he'd started to walk down the hall, voice sharp.  
"I just thought…" She looks crestfallen, and normally Alec would stop and explain, but his blood was boiling as he headed down the corridor.  
"Where's there a fight?" His voice was quiet as he asked Jace the question that made his parabatai's golden eyes widen.  
"Alec…are you-"  
"I'm _fine_ , now where's a fight?" Alec snapped, fingers itching to hit something, and he knew he needed to get away from Jace before the person he hit was him and not a demon or rogue Downworlder.  
"Um…look, Alec, maybe that's not such a good idea-"  
Alec slammed his hands down on the desk Jace was standing behind in the office.  
"Where. Is. There. A. Fight."  
"I don't know about a fight, but, I mean there was a murder yesterday morning in an abandoned warehouse on Fifth, but I don't know if that's necessarily a fight-"  
Alec span on his heel and turned to leave. Jace caught his arm.  
"Alec, should I come with you?"

Alec studied the boy he thought he'd loved, and wondered how he'd leapt to that conclusion so naively. He loved him as a brother, of course, as his parabatai and his friend, but the fluttering feeling in his stomach and the flush that used to rise to his cheeks when seeing Jace were nothing compared to how he felt when with Magnus. The feeling was all-consuming, hot and fiery and passionate and craving but also soft and sweet and kind and loving. It was insane and beautiful, and Alec cursed the way a few words hissed in a fit of anger and exasperation could tear apart that relationship, that easiness they always had with each other, when he and Magnus would just sit on the sofa and he would play with Magnus' hair absent-mindedly, like he was created to be with Magnus Bane in those moments. When their lips met and Magnus moaned under Alec's touch, he felt no doubt that his entire purpose was made for that action, for that feeling.  
Call him over-dramatic, but Alec rarely was dramatic with anything. That was always Magnus' thing.  
"No, Jace."

The warehouse was easy to break into with a rune, bits of yellow police tape still caught on the door, so easy in fact that Alec felt his mind wandering back to the way a certain warlock looked in the morning, a mental image that was quickly shot down as he thought back to their conflict that morning and then felt choked with sadness, and so rushed inside and drew his seraph blade, two thoughts of Magnus waking him up with kisses away from shouting out to whatever might be lurking in the darkened warehouse, "I'm over here! Come at me, bitches!" simply for the much-needed distraction that it would cause.

Alec was thankfully forced to focus on his surroundings as the noises of something being dropped echoed in the huge empty space. He could hear the noises of what sounded like a small animal skittering around, claws clicking on the metal, and he sheathed his seraph blade, raised his bow and pulled back an arrow from the quiver on his back, ready to let it fly. Aiming at what looked like random points around the room accordingly to where the sounds seemed to be coming from, Alec squinted in the darkness as his eyes began to adjust. There looked to be a black mass in front of him, and Alec only had time to inhale sharply before it suddenly came towards him with a roar.

Letting arrow after arrow fly at the creature, Alec backed up towards the door, heart beating faster as adrenaline peaked in his bloodstream. Amidst the chaos of battle there was always a sense of calm and tranquillity for Alec, without the complexity and uselessness of feelings, just instincts and survival and the huge shadow-like creature swooping down towards him. Throwing his bow aside, Alec grabbed his blade and slashed blindly at the black _thing_ , then rolled to the side as it smashed into the spot where he would have been. It was harder fighting on his own than he remembered, without the support of Jace or Isabelle as distractions, aid or strategists as well as himself. He had to think of everything: where his bow was, where his blade was, how many arrows he had left, where the exit was, where the next best exit was in case the other one got blocked, what the creature was reacting to and what it wasn't, and assessing himself for injuries, all while moving constantly to avoid the dark creature.

It didn't seem to be able to hurt him as a swirling cloud of black mist, but as Alec ran back around to the door to pick up his bow from where he'd tossed it out of his way, it seemed to solidify into a massive black fist that smacked into Alec and flung him out of the way.  
Alec hit the wall, back first, and was struck by blinding pain in his head and back as he slumped to the floor. His head gave a painful stab every time he moved it, and little hot flashes of pain were flaring up and down his spine. His most prioritized worry was the feeling of having a knife stuck between his ribs as he leant down to pick up his blade, gasping and eyes flooding with tears. He'd broken ribs before, but along with his tiredness, anger and general lack of preparation for the situation he had nothing he could do to bind the wound, and no way of stopping for a time out as the shadow-like monster waited, completely still, for the injured Shadowhunter to make his next move. Arms folded across his chest as if to support his ribs, Alec held his blade in his shaking hand, wishing he'd have asked Jace to come with him, wishing he hadn't have gone to the warehouse in the first place, wishing he hadn't snapped at Izzy, wishing that he hadn't left Magnus' apartment, wishing that they hadn't fought and wishing that he'd just stayed in bed that morning instead of getting up early, because maybe then the whole thing wouldn't have happened and he could have used Magnus' coffee machine to make a latte or something, instead of paying for a shitty black coffee.

The evil mist (as Alec named it) solidified again into a fist to crash Alexander Lightwood through the wall, and Alec closed his eyes, delirious, and briefly wondered, both what it would be like to die, and what flowers he would have at his funeral. Painless, fingers crossed, and lilies, hopefully, because they were Magnus' favorite.  
There was a humming noise as the fist swung back to shove Alec through the wall, and Alec tensed, sure he was ready for the impact.

Nothing happened.

For a second, Alec assumed he was dead, just because it was so quiet and things were never so quiet when you live your life surrounded by slightly egotistical chatterboxes, but then there was a soft _swoosh_ and Alec blinked open his eyes just to see the shadow monster disappear in a flash of blue sparks. Alec frowned, confused, and then his knees gave out.  
A pair of warm arms wrapped around his waist, and Alec cried out. "Ah! Ribs!"  
"Ah! I'm sorry…" There was a second, and then a warm, tingling feeling surrounded his broken rib, and the pain disappeared. Alec sagged in relief into the person's arms, and a familiar, delicious smell swept over him, of flowers and spices and cat and something unique and entirely _Magnus_.  
" _Magnus_ ," He breathed, and the warlock smiled, breath hot on Alec's ear.  
"It's alright, Alexander. I am here now."  
Alec gasped as he moved his head, hand flying up to touch the back of his skull. His hand came away red, and he felt dizzy, room swirling under him.  
"What's wrong? Where are you hurt?" Magnus' voice was urgent as he gently probed the back of Alec's head, and checked his pupils. "I think you have a concussion…come on," Magnus eased Alec gently up into standing position, supporting the Shadowhunter's weight with ease, and opened a portal. Alec squinted at the bright light as Magnus tried to take him into his apartment, then let out a loud groan when they hit into the same hard wall that Alec had encountered that morning.  
"Oh _damn_ it." Magnus started chanting, and Alec's eyes drooped with exhaustion, the ringing in his ear growing louder than Magnus' voice as he willingly let himself fall into unconsciousness-  
"Alec! Alec! No! Stay awake, okay? Stay awake! Keep talking to me." Magnus laid Alec down on his sofa and started rushing around, picking up ingredients from around his messy living room.  
"About what?" Alec felt drunk, slurring his words as his eyes continued to persistently fight to close.  
"About, um, about us. Where do you want to go for my apology gesture? A restaurant?"  
"Um…I don't know…"  
"Think then, come on love, where do you want to go?"  
"Um…" Alec's thoughts moved sluggishly, and he searched for an answer slowly. "Taki's?"  
"Okay," Magnus hurried up to the sofa and brought a mug to Alec's lips. "Drink this."  
Alec struggled to drink it, but as the hot potion ran down his throat he shuddered, then smiled as the nauseous, dizzy feeling left him, and his head stopped throbbing. He lay back on the cushions again, overwhelmingly tired, and looked sleepily up at Magnus. "Can I go to sleep now?"  
"Just give it a minute or so for the potion to work, love." Magnus looked sad as he watched Alec, regretful, and he sighed. "This was my fault."  
"No it wasn't." Alec mumbled.  
"Yes it was," Magnus stroked Alec's hair and pressed a quick kiss on his forehead. "You can go to sleep now, Alec."  
"Mkay." Alec mumbled, rolling over slightly and burrowing himself deeper into the nest of cushions that was Magnus' sofa, and it wasn't minutes before he fell asleep.

When Alec woke up, it took him a few minutes to orientate himself, because he was _not_ in the same place that he had been when he had fallen asleep. As he realized, he glared up at the ceiling fan in the infirmary of the Institute and sat bolt upright in bed. Isabelle caught his arm from where she was sitting beside his bed. "Woah! You okay?"  
"Yeah," Alec was mad now, forgoing the momentary happiness he'd felt in Magnus' apartment before he went unconscious. "Where's Magnus?"  
"I don't know…" Isabelle looked concerned. "He dropped you off here an hour ago, said you'd been fighting a demon alone. He was pretty mad at us about it."  
"What else did he say?"  
"That was it…apart from telling you he was sorry. He kept saying that. He looked really upset, Alec."  
Alec pushed the duvet off him and swung his legs over the edge, taking Isabelle's hand to pull himself to standing. She seemed to remember something, then looked sternly at him. "And if you rush off and go trying to fight an unknown threat alone again I will tie to your bed. Do you understand?"  
" _Yes_ , Izzy."  
"Okay, good." Her face was severe as she stared at him, and Alec was reminded in a painful flash of his mother when she used to tell him off.  
"How did he know how to find me?" Alec muttered as Isabelle followed him out of the infirmary, down the corridor and towards the front doors of the Institute.  
"Because I called him." Isabelle said simply. "He saw my missed call and called me back."  
Alec felt a thrill of hope as he took his mobile phone out of this pocket, but there were no notifications. Magnus hadn't called _him_ back. A jolt of sadness made him blink back tears, and a look of upset briefly crossed his face before he forced it down, and he changed course to his bedroom. Thankfully Isabelle didn't try to accompany him, and Alec slammed his door shut so hard the walls seemed to shudder from the force, sunk down onto his bed, and threw his phone away from him in frustration. It hit the opposite wall and hit the floor, so hard the case popped off and Alec was pretty sure he cracked the screen.

Alec hadn't slept in his bedroom in the Institute in at least a week, having stayed over with Magnus most nights, and Alex felt a miserable pang as he realized he wouldn't wake up next to his boyfriend the next morning. Sighing with defeat, Alec got up, picked up his now slightly cracked phone and dialled the familiar number. Magnus' voice chirped out as the voicemail, and Alec winced as he closed his eyes and started to speak.  
"Magnus? It's Alec. I know that you obviously don't want me at your apartment, and that's fine. I know you probably don't want to speak to me, and that's fine, too. I mean, I get you might want a break, and if it's something I've done…I know that you said you don't want me around because it would put me in danger, but you and I both know that's not the reason. I don't need you to defend me. Today was a one off because I was angry and we both know it. I get that you might not want to speak to me, but just…call me back, okay? Call me back." Alec took a deep breath. "And also…thank you for saving me today, I…" He choked on his emotion. "Call me back. Please? If you want to. I mean-"  
 _Beep._


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus Bane squinted at his empty wine glass with disdain, and swirled the dregs around disappointedly as his answering machine beeped self-importantly.  
" _You have three new messages."_  
With a lazy sweep of his hand, Magnus rather impressively managed to refill his wine glass and press the button to hear the voicemail, then took a long drag of his drink.  
" _Magnus? It's Alec_."  
The warlock choked on his red wine, spitting it out and spraying it across his carpet.  
" _I know that you obviously don't want me at your apartment, and that's fine. I know you probably don't want to speak to me, and that's fine, too. I mean, I get you might want a break, and if it's something I've done…I know that you said you don't want me around because it would put me in danger, but you and I both know that's not the reason. I don't need you to defend me. Today was a one off because I was angry and we both know it. I get that you might not want to speak to me, but just…call me back, okay? Call me back. And also…thank you for saving me today, I…"_  
Magnus slammed his glass down on the coffee table as he heard Alec's breath hitch, like the Shadowhunter was on the verge of tears. " _Call me back. Please? If you want to. I mean-"  
_ It abruptly ended with another loud _beep_.

The second message was Alec again, and Magnus glared at the answering machine furiously, as it was its fault.  
" _Magnus? It's Alec. I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but it's important, I mean, it's not just me, there was another murder, a warlock and the vampire she was with, and the Institute wants to speak to you, I mean, Isabelle wants to speak to you, like- they want to speak to you. That's all. Yeah. I mean- yeah. Yeah. Call me back. Or not. Yeah."  
_ Magnus stood up, swearing under his breath, and wobbled, then gave a deep sigh and went to get a vial of his Sobering Potion from the shelf in the kitchen. He downed the green liquid in one go as the third message played.  
" _Bane, the Clave wants you to come to the Institute to confirm the identity of the dead warlock. They expect you there by nine. Don't be late."  
_ Alec's voice was frosty, chillingly so, and after his initial pang of guilt and regret Magnus could understand why people were afraid of the Shadowhunters as he rubbed his head, a wicked hangover banging behind his eyes. His mouth was dry and he felt nauseous, and wondered briefly if he had time to stop and get a bagel.  
He looked at his watch.  
" _Shit!_ " He swore violently as the watch hands ticked sluggishly around, showing the time to be ten minutes past eleven. Massaging his temples with one hand, he threw on his bedazzled leather jacket and peered at his reflection in the large golden mirror on his wall. It was a particularly exquisite piece, something he'd 'borrowed' from the court of King Louis XVI while serving a client there, but he barely even noticed the beauty of it as he scrutinized his usually olive but now pale-looking face and his _abominable_ hair, which was standing up on one side with all the elegance and style of a middle-aged man in the middle of a fully-fledged mid-life crisis. Raking a brush through it, he sighed in despair, then thought about Alec knotting his callused hands in his hair as they kissed and put the hairbrush down rather abruptly.

He yanked on his black knee high boots so quickly he almost overbalanced and fell over, then clicked his fingers to get his daily black coffee and rushed over to the door. As he threw the door open, he was met by two Shadowhunters he didn't know dressed in full gear looking stern and annoyed.  
Magnus got the feeling they weren't going to do anything for his hangover.  
"Magnus Bane," The dark-haired man frowned. "Your presence was requested at the Clave at nine in this morning. We were sent here to make sure that you had a credible reason not to be present."  
"I…my…I didn't get any message."  
"The Lightwood boy must not be as reliable as we thought," The severe-looking woman smirked, and Magnus was torn between correcting her and lighting her hair on fire. You know, just for laughs.

"Well, we're here to escort you back to the Institute. There has been another murder."  
"Yes, I know," Magnus snapped irritably, and the woman narrowed her eyes.  
"How do you know? If you never got a message…"  
"Oh, you know, High Warlock of Brooklyn…anyway, can't I just go to the crime scene-"  
"No."  
Magnus sighed and followed the Shadowhunters out of his apartment.

* * *

Alexander Lightwood was hitting the punching bag so hard that it kept swinging back then ploughing into him with another force to knock him off his feet. He was alone in the training room, trying to release his anger in a slightly safer way this time, the taste in the air of chalk dust and sweat as familiar to him as his own face in the mirror. It was soothing, the rhythm of punching fluid and repetitive. His technique was perfect: rocking back on his heels, using his whole body, and _thump.  
_

His knuckles were red, cracking and bleeding, but that was to be expected, as he'd been training for over an hour now. There was a commotion outside, and Alec stopped, picked his t-shirt up from the floor and crossed the room to the door.  
Magnus emerged from the lab across the hall, and he was dishevelled, and looked kind of awful, his hair a mess and clothes rumpled like he'd slept in them. Alec felt a rush of concern, then remembered that he was angry at him because Magnus had basically broken up with him and forced down his worry. Magnus also seemed upset as he turned to walk down the corridor and locked eyes with Alec. For a second, Magnus looked Alec up and down, gaze lingering on his bare abs, like a reflex. Alec yanked the shirt over his head, annoyed, and pushed past Magnus.  
Izzy was in the weapons room, polishing her whip and bobbing her head along to whatever music she was blasting through her earphones.  
"Izzy." Alec said impatiently. "Izzy!"  
"Mhm? Oh, hey Alec." She frowned at him concernedly. "What's up?"  
"Nothing."  
He went over to the arrows in the pretence of replenishing his quiver. Izzy squinted at him shrewdly.  
"You saw Magnus, didn't you?"  
"Yeah," Alec took down one of the arrows and examined the tip for no particular reason. "So what?"  
"So the last time you saw him he saved your life then changed the wards to lock you out of his apartment."  
"I hadn't really thought about it."  
Izzy laughed and Alec scowled at the arrow. "Oh, Alec."  
"What?"  
"You should talk to him."  
"He doesn't want to talk to me."  
"How do you know?"  
"I called him."  
Izzy inhaled to speak.  
"Three times."  
"And he ignored you?"  
"It's not important, Izzy. What's important is training, so you should really-"  
"I'm going to talk to him." She stood up and Alec turned around, frustrated.  
"Izzy-"  
She stalked out, high heeled boots clicking on the marble floors.

"Magnus!"  
The sound of high heels on the floor coming up behind him didn't make Magnus stop, so she sped up and caught up with him.  
"Isabelle." He said begrudgingly.  
"How are you?"  
"Divine." Magnus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "How can I help you?"  
"My brother." Isabelle said immediately.  
"Alec," Magnus exhaled deeply. "What about him?"  
"Why did you lock him out of your apartment?"  
"I didn't _lock_ him out. I adjusted the wards to bar him from my home. There's a difference."  
"Did you fight?"  
"Oh, no no no."  
"Then _why_?" Izzy grabbed his arm in a surprisingly strong grip and spun him around to face her.  
"Isabelle…the murders…"  
"Of the warlock and her vampire boyfriend?" She sucked in a breath. "And the warlock and his mundane girlfriend?"  
"Yes."  
"So you're what, trying to protect him?" Izzy almost laughed in disbelief. "You think Alec needs protecting?"  
"If something… _happened_ to him, because of me,"  
"Do you think _Alec_ needs protecting?"  
"Isabelle-"  
"Is everything okay? Are you ill?"  
"Isabelle-"  
"You really think _Alec_ needs your protection? He is one of the best Shadowhunters I know-"  
"I know he is, Isabelle!" Magnus snapped. "But I can't put him in danger-"  
"In case you didn't notice, the first thing he did when you kicked him out was put himself in danger!"  
"Yes, and he needed my protection then, didn't he?" He hissed, head throbbing.  
Isabelle folded her arms, undeterred by his harsh tone. "Well the fact that he was in trouble in the first place was your fault too!"  
"I was trying to keep him safe-"  
"That's not your job, Magnus."  
"Well if he's in my apartment and we both get murdered I hope you remember that."  
"You're not going to get murdered, Magnus. You're the most powerful warlock in Brooklyn."  
"Ariella Berry was one of the powerful warlocks I've ever met. We may not have always seen eye to eye, but there was no doubt that she was…incredibly powerful. If she was defeated by this… _thing,_ there's no way to ensure my safety, or Alec's."  
"Could you at least talk to him?" She looked up at him beseechingly. "Don't ignore him. He was in the training room for over an hour this morning."  
"I know," Magnus looked tired. "I saw him."  
"Just talk to him."  
Izzy patted his arm, smiled with the air of someone who knows that they're beautiful, span around and stalked off down the corridor, her hair flying out in a perfect curtain behind her like a supermodel in a shampoo commercial.

Magnus found Alec in the weapons room, firing arrows at the target at the other end of the long room. When he walked in, Alec whirled around, bow poised with an arrow poised to fly, and didn't lower the loaded weapon even as it pointed straight at Magnus' face.  
"What." Alec said through gritted teeth.  
"Alexander-"  
"Izzy sent you, didn't she? "  
Magnus hesitated for a second, and although he prided himself on being hard to read, the answer to his question was clear to Alec, who shifted his grip on his bow but kept it aimed at the warlock's face. "Get out."  
"Alec-"  
"You obviously don't want me around you," Alec said quietly. "So don't make this any harder than it has to be."  
"Of course I want you around me, Alec-"  
"That's not what it sounded like." Alec turned quickly and released the arrow at the target on the other end of the room. It hit the bullseye dead-on, shuddering with the force of impact. Alec slid another arrow into his bow, pulled it back and steadied himself, carefully lining the tip of the arrow up with the centre of the target.  
"You know why I did what I did."  
"No, I don't." Alec let the second arrow fly, and reached for another one, and Magnus reached out, put his hand on the bow, as if to stop Alec from re-loading. "Alec, just listen-"  
Alec rounded on him, eyes flashing, and yanked his bow out of Magnus' grip, away from him, but let the arrow fall. It hit the floor with a loud clatter.  
"What do you want, Magnus? Go on. Say it."  
"I didn't change the wards because I don't want you around me, Alec."  
"Then why did you, Magnus? I can defend myself. And if you don't trust me to then maybe-"  
"I _do_ trust you to. But it's not the point."  
"Yes, it is!" Alec sighed, frustrated.

They were silent, and the tension in the room was almost palpable. Alec, unlike Magnus, was very easy to read, especially to Magnus, and his expression is torn, emotions flickering across his face like passing storm clouds. Part of Alec wanted Magnus to go, wanted to throw him out, but deep down he needed him to stay because it has barely been a day but he misses him and needs him and it was hurting to be so close to him but not touch. They were subconsciously leaning towards each other, like they had their own gravitational pull, two planets orbiting together. Their bodies were screaming to touch, to fit together, to be at once one and whole.  
Alec put the practice bow back up on the rack and they stared at each other.  
Magnus' hand was slightly outstretched from touching the bow, and Alec looked at it like it was about to explode. Alec knew all he had to do was reach out and touch Magnus' hand and the warlock would stop resisting and they could stop this stupid fight, but something was holding him back, something he hated. Magnus looked almost afraid that Alec would do that, but at the same time longing for him to.

Then Alec cast his gaze away and adjusted his ridden-up t shirt, and the moment was lost.  
"Alec…" Magnus said in a protesting voice, helplessly. "Alec…"  
"What?"  
Magnus didn't reply, face the picture of anguish. Alec went to leave, and Magnus caught his arm.  
"Alec-"  
" _What_? Unless you're going to start trusting me to look after myself-"  
"I do, I do trust you, it's just-"  
"It's just _what_?" Alec exploded. "It's just _what_ , Magnus?"  
"I don't want you getting hurt."  
Alec held out his red and cut knuckles. "I'm a Shadowhunter. I get hurt _all the time_ , even when I'm not out on missions. You can't stop me from getting hurt, Magnus." Alec reached in his trouser pocket for his stele and drew an iratze rune. His split knuckles knitted together and he flexed his hand as the stinging faded.  
Magnus murmured, almost inaudibly, "But I want to try."

Alec didn't seem to hear him.

 **Sorry this is a cliffhanger, hopefully I'll have the next chapter posted soon!  
Don't forget to follow, favourite and review to let me know what you thought.  
Thanks, Fly x**


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus had been setting his cushions on fire and repairing them magically for the past hour.  
There was something in the flickering flames that entranced him, though that may have been because he was very, very drunk. He'd exhausted half of his alcohol supply in less than two hours of being home.

It was roughly two in the morning and he was lying spread-eagled on the bed watching the burning fabric revolve in mid-air above his head, too drunk (and gay) to think straight. His thoughts kept going back to Alec and Ariella Berry, the murdered warlock, despite his determinedness to relax and distract himself from his guilt and regret.

Magnus laid there, blue sparks dancing around his fingertips, and let out a loud, angry sigh.  
He knew something was wrong when the front door slammed open, but it took him a few seconds to put two and two together and realise that he should probably get up. The flaming cushion fell on top of him as he lost focus, and he swore loudly as it burnt his leg; he magically threw it across the room and jumped off of the bed, hopping and hissing in pain.  
Just visible from the bedroom was a woman with pure black eyes and hair that was climbing the air around her and weaving around like separate beings, like snakes. On seeing the wobbling, in pain Magnus, she snarled, revealing long, sharp canines. He tried to remember what type of demon it was, but his thoughts were scattered with panic.  
" _Warlock."_ It hissed in a demonic language that Magnus would normally be almost fluent it but in his panicked, tipsy state was barely able to translate her words. " _You will not be the first nor the last to die by my hand."  
_ "You…you killed the other…warlocks…" Magnus' heart rate was picking up.  
" _Indeed."_ It laughed, a sound like fingers on a chalkboard. " _And now I will kill you."_

Yelping like a kicked puppy, Magnus blasted the demon with a shower of sparks, sending it flying backwards. It slammed into a wall and fell to the floor. For any person the blow would have killed them, snapped their spine like a twig, but the demon just flipped over, spine completely broken, and scuttled towards him like a crab. He grabbed his cell phone off the dresser and was chased through the bedroom, so ran inside the bathroom and slammed the door hurriedly behind him, throwing his hands up to erect some basic protective wards just in time as the demon crashed into the door, which shuddered on its hinges. Magnus was dizzy and the world was spinning, but he blamed the alcohol. He opened his phone and called the first person he could think of, the first person he always thought of.

"Come on…come on…" Magnus muttered as the demon launched itself again and again against the door. "Come on…"  
"Hello? Magnus?"  
"Alec? Are you _nearby_?"  
"Magnus?" He sounded shocked. "What? Why?"  
"I'm being _attacked_."  
"What? Attacked? Are you at your apartment?"  
" _Yes!"  
_ "I'll be there in five."  
" _Hurry!"_ Magnus said urgently, and Alec hung up.  
There was something Magnus knew he was supposed to remember but he had forgotten.  
The demon was still throwing itself against the door, and when Magnus touched the door handle it was red hot. " _Ow!"_ His knee was bright red from the burning cushion, blistering, and Magnus did his best to heal it with his magic; Catarina had always been better at healing than him and he wished he had her with him to heal his burns.

Behind the door, the demon shrieked. " _This resistance is futile. I will destroy you and suck out your soul. Come and face your fate, Magnus Bane."  
_ "Sorryyy, dying isn't…on…my… _agenda_ , today-"  
Magnus giggled foolishly despite the danger, his lapse in concentration removing the makeshift wards. The door blew off its hinges and smacked straight into Magnus. He flew back and hit his bathtub, and blasted the demon back again, still practically giggling despite the pain in his ribs.  
He crawled out from under the door that was on top of him, and scrambled out of the bathroom. The demon was lying on the carpet in the hall, motionless and Magnus took a few steps away from it, then jumped nearly a foot in the air as the demon shot up with a furious roar.

There was a hammering on the door as Magnus started to throw the things on his coffee table at the demon. A half-empty wine glass, a copy of the _New York Times_ ¸ an empty coffee cup, a battered copy of _Vogue_ and a flannel pair of Magnus' pyjama pants. All of them disintegrated as soon as they hit the demon, and that annoyed Magnus because he loved those pyjamas.  
Alec's panicked voice came from the direction of the door. "Magnus? I can't get in!"  
"Oh _shit_ …" Magnus groaned, warding off the demon with his hands outstretched, blue sparks forming a shield in front of him. "I, um, I, Magnus, Magnus Bane, allow Alexander Lightwood past my…my wards, and in, into my apartment."  
With a crash Alec burst through the door, loaded bow in his hand, and shot the demon four and five times consecutively, catching it by surprise. Magnus watched him with almost awe, because his arm muscles were showing through his t-shirt and looked sexy when fighting. Alec finished the demon off, ducking its swipe at him, by driving a seraph blade through its chest. It set on fire with a livid scream and it collapsed in on its self, returning its home dimension and leaving no trace of its existence.

Alec stared down at Magnus, who was crouched on the floor in an odd position.  
"Alexander," Magnus mumbled. "Hello!"  
The Shadowhunter scrutinized him, then rolled his eyes. "You're drunk."  
"Maaaybe," Magnus said in a sing-song voice. "Maaaybe not."  
Throwing his bow down on the couch, Alec made a disgusted noise and folded his arms.  
"Is that why you called me?"  
"I _caaalled_ you to get rid of the demon. I didn't actually _want_ you to come round."  
Alec's face was still and quiet. He looked upset, but Magnus couldn't figure out why.  
"Why are you _angryyyy_?"  
"I'm not angry."  
"Yes you _areeee."_ Magnus used Alec to pull himself up, and prodded him in the chest. "You _areeee._ You are _angry_ with me…why are you _angry_ with me…don't be _angry_ with-"  
Magnus froze, and he went green, then ran over to the kitchen sink, veering off course slightly, and vomited over his dirty dishes.  
Alec stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for Magnus to stop being sick, and then reluctantly approached the vomiting warlock. Magnus splashed his face with water and turned around. "I don't…feel good, Alec."  
"I'm not surprised." He said dryly. "I'll stay for a while to make sure nothing else attacks you, and then I'm going, so don't worry, I won't stay long, seeing as you obviously don't want me here."  
Magnus frowned, because it didn't make sense. He wanted to tell Alec that he'd be fine by himself and that maybe him staying wouldn't be a good idea if he was going to just be angry with him, but he passed out.

 **CLIFFHANGER ALERT WEEOW WEEOW WEEOW  
(That was my attempt at an alarm noise, by the way)**  
 **I am currently writing the next chapter, so it should be up soooon!  
More reviews=faster updates (because I get SUPER motivate and write like my life depends on it)  
Thanks you guys!  
Fly x**


	4. Chapter 4

_Ughhhh._  
Magnus woke up, and before he even opened his eyes his head was pounding and his mouth felt like it was stuck together it was so dry. His mouth tasted like vomit.

He opened his eyes slowly, the sunlight coming in through his open window stinging his eyes, and he groaned under his breath. Before he'd started drinking last night, he'd thankfully had the foresight to get out one of Catarina's homemade Hangover Cure, and he eased himself up, every moment making his stomach churn and his head throb. He resolved he would never drink again, the way he did every time he had a hangover, and downed the potion on his dresser, wincing. It burned as it went down his throat, and the effects were instant: the nausea, dizziness and dehydration faded, but his head was still pounding, so he stood up, wobbling unsteadily, and staggered into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, then froze.

Alexander Lightwood was lying, asleep, on his couch.  
Magnus' memory was scrambled, he was unable to think clearly due to his headache, but he approached Alec, one hand massaging his temple, squinting at him.  
"Alec, what are you doing on the couch, why aren't you in bed with-"  
He stopped as Alec shifted and opened his eyes and frowned at him. Magnus remembered that he'd kicked him out and that they weren't talking, and wondered why Alec was there. Not, that it was an unwelcome surprise. "Why are you…here?"  
Alec sat up, face stony, but the effect of it was slightly softened by the fact that his t-shirt had ridden up, revealing the toned muscles of his stomach, and his hair was sticking up on side adorably.  
"You called me. You were attacked by a demon."  
Magnus frowned, trying to remember.  
"You were super drunk," Alec added, disapprovingly.  
"Oh. Right." Magnus nodded as he vaguely remembered the attack and him calling Alec, then stopped moving his head as it made his headache worse. "Was that the only reason I called you?"  
"It sounded like it." Alec snapped, in a manner that suggested to Magnus that he had said something bad after his nearly two bottles of wine.  
"I…I wanted to talk to you." Magnus winced and rubbed his forehead. "I can't remember why, though."  
"Take your time. It's not like you're wasting mine, or anything." Alec snarled. "If can't remember and just called me here because you were too drunk to protect yourself then I'm going."  
"Alec," Magnus protested weakly. "But…why were you nearby? That late at night?"  
"It's none of your business."  
"So the same reason as me, then." Magnus muttered, and Alec scowled.  
"What do you mean?"  
Magnus ignored him and went to the sink, got himself a glass of water and gulped it down, then had another.  
"So what did you want to talk about?" Alec said shortly.  
"It was about...I told you to leave because I wanted to keep you safe- but I called you here to get rid of the demon for you? I'm sorry."  
"I'm not your own personal demon exterminator, Magnus."  
"I know you're not!"  
Magnus stumbled over to the couch and slumped down on it, and Alec immediately stood up and walked to the other side of the room. "You didn't need to stay here if that's how you feel, Alec."  
"You know that's not…" Alec made an exasperated noise. "I'll just go."

Alec picked up his bow, combed down his hair with his hand, and went to leave. Magnus said tiredly, "Whatever I said to you, Alec, I was drunk. Does that matter?"  
He paused. "Was that the demon that killed the other warlocks, Magnus?  
"Yeah."  
'So I could come here now, but you still don't want me to."  
The Shadowhunter went to leave.  
"Alec, wait-"  
"Why should I? You don't want me here."  
Magnus' eyes widened in understanding. "Is that what I said?"  
This was met with silence, so Magnus continued. "Of course I want you here, I just didn't want you to get hurt-"  
"It doesn't feel like it. Who saved your ass from the demon? Me. But that's just not good enough for you, is it?"  
"Alec, stop!" Magnus stood up, eyes flaring, angry. Alec glared back at him.  
"Why, because it's true?"  
Magnus made an angry gesture, and red sparks flew out of his hands. A vase on the windowsill smashed against the wall, sending glass and flowers flying everywhere, and Alec ducked. Magnus was about to apologise when Alec straightened, hand on his cheek, and Magnus saw the bright red blood staining his fingertips.

Alec blinked at Magnus in surprise, and Magnus took a step back, then another.  
"Alec, I'm…"  
"It's fine, it was an accident-"  
"I hurt you." Magnus whispered. "I hurt you."  
"Magnus-"  
"I hurt you. You need to go. You need to leave."  
"Magnus, this is ridiculous, I'm not leaving."  
"Alec, don't make me force you out." Magnus raised his hands, and Alec stayed still for a moment, leaning towards the door like he was going to leave. Then he all of a sudden strode briskly towards Magnus, taking him by surprise, grabbed him by the waist, pulled them together and kissed him.

Magnus leant into it for a second, on instinct, then pulled away, pulling himself out of Alec's grip. Alec grabbed his wrists. "Magnus, come on-"  
"I said _don't make me force you out_ , Alec."

The shame on Magnus' face and the hurt on Alec's made each of their hearts twist painfully.  
"Magnus, listen to me, it was an accident."  
"I hurt you." Magnus' voice was hard and flinty, brittle. "I hurt you. That is inexcusable. This is over. You need to get out of my apartment, now."  
"You didn't mean to," Alec held his hands up like a gesture of surrender. "Magnus, _please_ -"  
"Alec, this is your last warning-"  
The Shadowhunter took one deep breath, and composed himself.  
"Magnus." He said calmly. "You're upset. You're feeling guilty, even though you shouldn't. You can't make this decision now, because you're upset. It doesn't make sense for you make this decision now. Does that make sense?"  
"Alec, I told you to _get out_."  
"Magnus." Alec repeated. "We can't talk about this now. You're hungover, and upset and angry and tired and we can't talk about this now."  
"Alec, _now_."  
"Don't hurt me again." Alec burst out, face calm but posture tense and angry. "Don't hurt me again. This? _This_ is hurting me more than that accident. Don't hurt me again, Magnus. _Don't hurt me._ "  
Magnus faltered, just for a second, and Alec dived for it.  
"Don't hurt me, Magnus."  
Magnus didn't answer, but blue sparks kept swirling around his hands, flicking from red to blue with his wavering emotions. His eyes were fixed on Alec's cut. When he kept staring at it, Alec went for his stele with slow, fluid movements, like trying not to spook a wild animal, and drew an iratze.  
They were quiet for a moment. A breeze blew in from the open window, and both of them shivered at the same time.

Alec took a step closer to Magnus. "Are we fine now? Come on, Magnus, I know it was an accident."  
"You don't understand, this relationship, this is going to hurt me. This, this _always_ hurts me."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I haven't felt like this in…I'm immortal. I thought I could put up with losing you, but…this is going too far. And if this is hurting you, too…then I don't think we can-"  
"Of course we can! We're Alec and Magnus! We always do! We always can! We're us!  
We get through this together! Come on Magnus." He pleaded. "Don't hurt me again."

 **I hope you liked it! Reviews are greatly appreciated. The next chapter should be up soon.  
Fly xx**


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